Saturday, August 26, 2017

Out of Proportion?

When you deal with depression in the form of feeling chronically and helplessly unworthy, you (hopefully) learn to praise yourself for even the smallest of accomplishments, and you eventually train yourself to see them better instead of glossing over them and heading straight for the things still undone.

Today I am keeping my 2 granddaughters, which is in itself a big deal for me because it falls outside what I can deal with by myself for a full day. Today is only partial and didn't require my attention starting at 5 am (their mom got a late start due to issues with Hurricane Harvey), so I'm only just now getting tired and brain fuzzy.

At lunchtime I fixed them chicken, noodles, and broccoli. Like, a real meal. And I sat down and ate with them. When you suffer for hours on end believing you're just not up to par, that's a big win. So while being on my own case for not having done dishes yet, I keep patting myself on the back for that win. And yes, I stopped doing dishes to come post that. But that's part of making the win count...I just want to share it.

If you feel like you're not getting enough done and that that makes you inadequate or unworthy, look for those little wins and celebrate them. Bear witness to your effort however you might think others would "rate" it. Perhaps it's an exaggeration, but so is the punishment of beating yourself up for the things you haven't done. Fair is fair.

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